Life- what to do with it?
Biggest decision in my life has been deciding about my life. Not that i have a rock solid ambition, i am still stuck on square one. My problems might really sound foolish but they are problems to me after all.
When i was in tenth i was a big fan of all the things about the universe, space and everything related to it. I knew details of the solar system backwards. I spent my nights just imagining what's beyond the end of the universe. I mean i was actually at the verge of becoming insane by thinking about totally unnecessary things which unfortunately still go on my mind punctually.
My so called dilemma has two sides, the first being as the following -
I have my college going on. I don't have a clue what i am doing with my life, i am studying in an institution that needs 200% devotion and hard work which i fail to give by a huge margin. My colleagues are way ahead of me in each and every way. This in short means i am a total failure and the funny part being i know all of it and still i am unable to work on it.
Here comes the foolish second part with a bonus theory!
Theory- every normal human wants to do something big and become known by everybody. Whereas a person compared to the population of his state is nothing but a struggling ant, the state is nothing compared to the country, the country is nothing compared to the world, the world is nothing compared to the sun, the sun is nothing compared to the milky way galaxy, the milky way is nothing compared to other galaxies, other galaxies don't stand a chance in front of the universe and the observable universe is probably just a part of the huge universe that is yet to be identified........
So if we calculate a normal persons importance in this universe it is actually and totally nothing. Sounds stupid doesn't it ? Not to me.
So on one hand i have to have a five digit salary, a car, a bungalow and great reputation to survive in today's world. But i also know it wont make a wee bit of difference in this world after two days of my death because in reality this earth this life this job this cut throat competition and this urge to make a difference is of no use in the huge creation called the universe. We are merely dust particles.
And so the meaningless battle in my head continues............
